Blog

Responding to Oklahoma

Kathy Litton — Wed, 22 May 2013 10:26:14 GMT

ALPHARETTA, Ga. -- North American Mission Board Disaster Relief Executive Director Fritz Wilson appealed to Southern Baptists to pray for the people of Moore, Okla., as the entity geared up to respond to the devastating EF4 tornado that leveled portions of the Oklahoma City suburb May 20. NAMB disaster relief leaders were en route to Moore Tuesday to help coordinate the Southern Baptist Disaster Relief (SBDR) response.

When God Showed Up

Kathy Litton — Sun, 19 May 2013 21:20:06 GMT

This older gentleman always has a critical word to give to the pastor. Aka my husband! There’s always something wrong with the sermon. If not, this man can find one. But this Sunday was different. The only explanation is that the Spirit was working in his heart.

The 3 Greatest Threats to My Christian Life

Kathy Litton — Thu, 16 May 2013 01:06:53 GMT

Over the last 2 weekends at Mountain Lake Church 34 people have been baptized. I excitedly watched and cheered for each one of them….several of whom I personally know. I’m even more pumped about the new life they are beginning. Nevertheless, I’ve been a follower of Jesus long enough to know the challenges to staying focused on Him…to remaining in Him. My experiences have proven just how easy it is to drift away from the One I claim to follow. When I do, I lose momentum. I lose a sense of fulfillment and purpose.

A Bad Sunday

Kathy Litton — Tue, 14 May 2013 00:27:42 GMT

This morning--a Sunday--was one of those mornings. I saw it coming Saturday night, so I went to bed at a decent hour as preventative medicine. My first thought when I woke, however, was, "It's Sunday morning," and I turned over and tried to go back to sleep out of defiance. Despite my best efforts to still my whirring brain by pulling the covers over my head, I couldn't sleep. And I also knew I couldn't magically skip to Monday morning--I would have to face the day. I went straight to the coffeepot and then, coffee in hand, stared at the cover of my Bible for a long while. I finally cracked it open, read a few pages, and furiously penned prayers in my journal.

Good Counsel

Kathy Litton — Mon, 13 May 2013 09:14:44 GMT

Next month, I will complete a 9 month mentoring session for a friend of mine. She is a fellow Pastor’s wife who is about to embark on the wild adventure of church planting - one I’m not sure we’re ever fully prepared for! Each month, we talked about various aspects of ministry life and ways we could improve.

To My 28-Year-Old Self on Mother's Day

Kathy Litton — Thu, 09 May 2013 03:55:33 GMT

On Mother’s day, the year I was 28, I was just hours away from giving birth to my youngest son. Being a dutiful pastor’s wife I went into labor at 1:30 am on Monday thoughtfully allowing Rick to complete his Sunday responsibilities. At 5:15 that morning Justin Ferguson was born. His 18-month-old sister Kate and 5-year-old brother Brett waited for him at home. After this things get a little blurry: three small kids, Rick in his first senior pastorate plus working on his doctorate, money was tight and sleep was deprived.

Ministers' Wives Luncheon at SBC in Houston

Kathy Litton — Tue, 07 May 2013 01:17:01 GMT

This article originally appeared in the Baptist Press.

Ministers' wives will consider how they are uniquely called to the Gospel ministry at their annual luncheon in Houston under the theme "For the Sake of the Gospel" I Corinthians 9:23."Our personal ministries may often be far from the crowd's eyes. At times our tasks may appear mundane," Kathy Ferguson Litton, president of this year's luncheon, said. "As busy ministry wives, we can easily become unconscious of the big picture of Gospel advancement..."

The Plastic Pastor's Wife

Kathy Litton — Mon, 06 May 2013 14:40:19 GMT

It was a “women’s only” break-out session, and the speaker had silver hair that spoke of her seasoned perspective and experience.

This particular pastor’s wife warned us to be careful not to get too close to other women in their congregation. Such behavior could be detrimental.

When You Feel Like a Single Mom-Part 3

Kathy Litton — Fri, 03 May 2013 12:11:28 GMT

I don’t think there is a minister’s wife who can honestly say she has not battled loneliness or even bitterness and frustration with the scenario of being without your husband at events, services, classes, dinner, etc. Satan just loves a girl who is put out and bitter at her church or at the calling/responsibilities God has given to her and her husband. And for me, that’s key - understanding God has called me AND my husband. We are a team. Growing up, I ran the 400 meter relay in track. All four of us represented our team, but we were still individuals.

When You Feel Like a Single Mom-Part 2

Kathy Litton — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 02:32:34 GMT

In the previous post, we looked at the issue of feeling like a “single mom”, when married to a minister. Sundays in the ministry home are most decidedly NOT like Sundays in other homes. Getting kids fed, dressed and delivered to church can be daunting with two parents, not to mention one. Fortunately God has gifted women with unusual strength and resourcefulness, and they manage to pull this off successfully (most of the time.) This naturally brings us to this question, “How can I avoid becoming resentful of this situation?”

When You Feel Like a Single Mom-Part 1

Lori McDaniel — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 10:09:37 GMT

Recently Michelle Obama raised a few eyebrows when she referred to herself as a "single mother" in an interview . She quickly corrected herself, but her slip of the tongue was revealing. At this point in their family life, she is shouldering extra responsibility in parenting, due to the demands of the presidency. When your husband has a job that takes him away for a long period of time, or has unusual demands on him, much of the parenting is done solo - left to the wife to manage

Looking for Community and Accountability this Summer?

Kathy Litton — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 00:51:37 GMT

HelloMornings is a challenge to encourage and equip you to rise early to start your day in the Word. There are also exercise tips and resources for planning for your day! The HelloMornings community is filled with women seeking to honor God with their lives through dedicating their mornings to Him.We've opened up some spots just for the Flourish community, and we would love for you to join in the early-morning fun!

A Closer Look at Bi-vo Ministry

Lori McDaniel — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 00:41:09 GMT

“Tweet”, Text”, “Skype”, “Facetime”, “Mancave”, “Bucket list”, we’ve heard them all, new words that have made their way into our everyday vernacular. In the last few years our communication culture has undergone tremendous transformation. Each year we add to our vocabulary new buzz words that make their way into our dictionaries, written and verbal communication. Same can be said in the realms of ministry. New terms and phrases are becoming more prevalent in our ministry verbiage and the one that I identify with most is “Bi-vo Wife” or the wife of a bi-vocational pastor. Upon starting this journey in ministry, we were not familiar with this term.

Epiphany

Kathy Litton — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 03:10:01 GMT

When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, there were a lot of things on my list: Ballerina. Photo-Journalist. Marine Biologist. Author. There was one thing, however, that I did NOT want to be and that was….(take one guess)… a pastor’s wife. I’m not sure how it happened exactly, which is completely naïve and foolish, but one minute I was a junior in college dating a tall, handsome Biblical Studies major, the next minute we were engaged and he was looking for a job.

An Introvert, a Minister’s Wife, and the Great Commission

Kathy Litton — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 08:13:07 GMT

As a ministry wife, I spend a lot of time with my church. If I’m not at church, I’m thinking about church, praying for church, or planning for church. God has even blessed me with a few good friends at church (real friends, the kind that can see your messy-house, no-makeup, bad-hair days).
These friends from church are very important to me. They share ministry passions, particularly my interest in serving those who are living below the poverty level. They encourage and support me.

The Loft and Satan

Kathy Litton — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 13:29:31 GMT

Today I found an email from the Loft in my inbox with subject line, which read: “Kathy, Still Looking for a Top to Love?” The Loft’s website is intuitive. Some call it “artificial intuition” but in reality the website is able to observe my actual behavior and my interests on their site. They store that information and then “intuitively” know how to dangle those products in front of my eyes. Their hope in sending me the email is for me to respond like so, “Yes, Loft that IS the top I LOVE”. Click. Click. Click. Top arrives in 3 to 4 days.

Sunday Morning Slow Down

Lori McDaniel — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 01:26:11 GMT

I'm often guilty of walking too fast through a crowd. My fast paced mental agenda brain feels like those old pinball machines. As soon as the church doors open, I'm the pinball that has been launched out of the narrow passageway bumping into this person (ding), talk to that person (ding), hug those two people (ding, ding). There are no bells for others to hear, but in my mind the dings are audible voices of "you've talked long enough, now go on to the next person." As if the more people I hug and talk to the more points I score.

I think many ministry wives feel a tug of "I should be talking to everyone." Whether you're type A and hyperactive about it, or Type B and intimidated by it; we all feel that sense of responsibility.

Taming the Tyranny of the Urgent

Paula Link — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 13:08:01 GMT

Married life is the bomb. Or, at least it can be. Spending time with your best friend….sharing a home together…..raising a family…..knowing someone else loves you with abandon…..loving someone else above yourself……and partnering to accomplish life goals.

Yes, married life is sweet. That is, unless other things have robbed your marriage of intimacy and unity. The demands of life have a way a wriggling into our marriages and diverting our attention away from the very one we pledged to honor and esteem most. (Who knew laundry and yard work could have such disastrous effects?!)

God Isn't Responding the Way I Think He Should

Paula Link — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 13:28:46 GMT

Have you ever had a time that everything seemed to be falling apart? The past three months have been rough in the Ewing household. We haven’t had any major traumas but the multiple dramas piled up so high that I was crying, “UNCLE!”

We had two cars, paid for, that broke down on the same day and we watched as our savings dwindle to cover the costs.

We discovered our teenage son was rebelling against God's ways and our hearts broke.

When Grief Strikes Home: Remembering the Warren Family

Kathy Litton — Sun, 07 Apr 2013 22:36:50 GMT

In real fellowship, people experience sympathy. Sympathy is not giving advice or offering quick, cosmetic help; sympathy is entering in and sharing the pain of others.
Sympathy says, “I understand what you’re going through, and what you feel is neither strange nor crazy.” Today, some call this “empathy,” but the biblical word is “sympathy.”

Sympathy meets two fundamental human needs: the need to be understood and the need to have your feelings validated.

Sympathy: Entering in and Sharing the Pain of Others by Rick Warren

Kathy Litton — Sat, 06 Apr 2013 22:25:34 GMT

Presently I am watching a precious family face unimaginable loss. A young faithful ministry leader's death has come far too soon. With the Andrew Pray family heavy on my heart I stumbled upon these wise words by Rick Warren regarding sympathy.

Being in ministry thrusts us into other’s tragedies. Often we feel inadequate to walk with people in the landscape of their pain. In that inadequacy we may avoid or short change ministry of sympathy because we feel ill-equipped.

Anything

Lori McDaniel — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 22:30:13 GMT

I am an avid reader. Reading comforts, convicts and challenges me. I love to get lost in a story; to curl up on a couch or squirm in my seat as words on a page challenge me to live differently.

Reading Anything by Jennie Allen is like a giant megaphone shouting right to my heart. Her book had me squirming in my seat and offers a picture of how we can practically offer up our everything to God. It feels good to say, “God I give you anything, do anything.” Here we find freedom.

Finding Friends

Kathy Litton — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 00:31:29 GMT

Each time I talk with a group of Pastors’ wives I always ask what issues they are currently facing. Friendship consistently ranks at the top of their lists. It seems that women in ministry struggle to feel secure in the friendship department, and maybe rightly so. Some of us have experienced positional friends - people who are our friend in order to position themselves closer to our husband. Or proximity friends - people who are our friend simply because they attend our church.

The Woman Who Knows Too Much ?

Kathy Litton — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 23:03:03 GMT

If you’ve been in ministry for longer than a week...
a. you know there are things you wished you hadn’t heard.
b. a grudge begins to swell because of what you’ve learned about “so and so.”
c. you feel like you’re the last to know.
d. you feel in the dark about insider information.
e. you’ve experienced all of the above!

Forsaken

Lori McDaniel — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 21:20:53 GMT

“My God, my God, why have You forsaken Me? Why are you so far from saving Me, so far from the words of my groaning?

O my God, I cry out by day, but You do not answer, by night, and am not silent.
Yet You are enthroned as the Holy One; You are the praise of Israel.
In You our fathers put their trust; they trusted and You delivered them.

They cried to You and were saved; in You they trusted and were not disappointed."

Mastering Our Emotions

Lori McDaniel — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 21:10:54 GMT

One of my favorite quotes is from Flourish’s very own, Kathy Litton. She led a breakout session at the Velocity 2013 Conference regarding the influence a wife has on her husband, and her statement still has my mind processing. Here it is: “The discipline of our emotions is found in the training of our responses.”
Do you, like me, ever find yourself spouting off answers or demands only to regret your words an hour later? Have you, like me, ever wished you could go back in time and change your reaction to a challenging moment?

Active

Kathy Litton — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 14:48:34 GMT

Our primary calling must motivate us to be active. We respond first out of our love to God. We shouldn't make decisions because we're moms or wives or daughters or workers or leaders, but out of our response to God. We are called to "love our neighbors" not because we live in a cool neighborhood or go to church or vote on the same ballot that they do.

Being active makes me feel vulnerable.

1st Corinthians 13 for Moms

Kathy Litton — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 02:51:46 GMT

If my child speaks in the tongues of men or of angels, masters sign language at six months and Spanish and Mandrin Chinese by six years, but does not learn to love, she is only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If he has the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge-ABCs at a year, reading by two, writing chapter books in Kindergarten-but does not have love, he is nothing.

Kirra Kelly: Bivocational Ministry Wife

Kathy Litton — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 02:50:55 GMT

Only hours off the road from the trip that every girl dreams of taking, with the young man she believes is “the one”, the approval visit to his home town and family; the visit that solidifies her place and elevates her relational status to the next level, where my dreams met my reality. On our early Sunday morning ride returning to Tallahassee, he shared all the glowing reviews I'd received from his family. I was totally giddy on the inside, while my mind began to ponder the perfect colors, venues and centerpieces.

God, Google, and Siri- The New Trinity

Lori McDaniel — Sat, 16 Mar 2013 00:14:52 GMT

God speaks and for some reason I find a need to tweet it.

The Spirit reveals some thought, and within seconds I've made it my Facebook status.

Why is this?
Is it because I have a message to share that deserves an audience? Perhaps.
Is it because I need an audience to click the "like" button and approve my God-thought? …ouch…( I don't even want to admit that one.) God, Google and Siri have become a necessary part of my life.

“The Bible” is Trending

Kathy Litton — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 09:48:24 GMT

The History Channel is currently making history of its own. With the five week series simply titled “The Bible”, their ratings have soared, with 14.8 million viewers the first week alone. According to The History Channel’s tweet, this series is the number one entertainment telecast in recent history.

My Lenten Journey

Kathy Litton — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 02:19:32 GMT

A funny thing happened to me on the way to Easter several years ago....

For some unknown reason, I found myself becoming curious about Lent, the forty day period from Ash Wednesday to Easter, as designated on the church calendar. Having grown up Baptist, I knew absolutely zero about this practice except from a childhood friend who was Lutheran and the film "Chocolat."

Not a Competition

Kathy Litton — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 11:22:42 GMT

I’m sitting here crying... black rivers running down my blush pink cheeks.

It all started last night when I had a Mary Kay consultant over to showcase her products and give me a makeover. I built it up in my mind, which is something they say never to do.

My pastor-husband, Colby, was leaving just as she was coming and I hugged him close and long, hinting that he should come right home at 9:00, right after youth group was over.

Revealing the Real Me

Kathy Litton — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 01:07:14 GMT

The last three years of my life have included more than a few dark days. After five different homes in as many years, peppered with three childbirths, I found myself an exhausted mess. My journey to, through, and out of depression is a story for another day, but there has been one thing about my struggle that has continued to surprise me. I am not the only one.

It's Only Blind to You

Kathy Litton — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 03:36:27 GMT

In the middle of a workshop for corporate women, I received one of my most powerful spiritual lessons. One minute we were discussing team-building and communication - then next thing I knew the Holy Spirit was drilling a hole in my heart. A seasoned, successful woman was telling us about a meeting she facilitated with her co-workers. In her presentation she got a bit agitated and expressively harsh. She became very heavy handed.

Am I Willing?

Kathy Litton — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 12:11:13 GMT

Unpacking in our new home in a new state far from our families, I opened a box marked Fragile in big black letters. Inside, buried under bubble wrap, I found my framed wedding vows. While I searched the master bedroom for the perfect spot where the frame could hang, I read what I had committed to Kyle on our wedding day. Just as it had when I had first written the words, my heart stopped on one line.

"I vow to support the ministry that God gives you."

A Four-Fold Benedictine Blessing

Kathy Litton — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 01:37:26 GMT

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people, so that you may

Sundays and Oxen

Kathy Litton — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 12:33:11 GMT

It’s universal. (At least, that’s what I tell myself.) The disastrous Sunday morning, that is. I have heard it said many times growing up in the church – “Satan will try anything to keep you from getting to church!” I’m not sure if it’s Satan himself but I have to say, there is definitely something to this Sunday morning thing. It happened to us just last week.
It all began when I woke up just a few minutes late. I had completely prepared myself the night before, as I typically do, to avoid any Sunday morning strife. Outfits laid out: Check. Baby bag packed: Check. Purse ready: Check.

I'm Trying

Paula Link — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 13:43:11 GMT

Bob was a successful restaurateur and businessman in our city. His steakhouse was a popular nightspot for the young and hip, and he was frequently mentioned in the society columns. But Bob’s life fell apart a few years ago due to serious financial debts, a gambling addiction, a divorce and legal problems. It all came to a head one night, and my husband (who had known him for years) was blessed to lead a broken and desperate Bob to Christ. The next few months were rough for him

Church Competition

Paula Link — Sat, 23 Feb 2013 16:05:16 GMT

It happens when I'm driving down the road and pass "that" church.
It happens after a conversation with "that" minister's wife.
It happens after I hear stories of how "that" church is doing.
A twinge of competition creeps in.

We know life isn't fair. But surely ministry is equitable since we are all doing it for Jesus. Right?

He Wants Your Heart: A Word to Church Planting Wives

Paula Link — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 14:18:12 GMT

When God called my husband and I to plant a church, I said yes. My yes to church planting echoed the vow I made on my wedding day, that I would support my husband in any ministry God might give him. As He does with us all, God has not stopped asking for my yes and He has not stopped showering His faithfulness on any willingness I offer Him.

Sisters, I believe this—a willing heart—is the key to our fruitfulness and joy. And yet our hearts are the very things that will be tempted and tried throughout the church planting process.

Move Over President's Day

Kathy Litton — Sun, 17 Feb 2013 03:24:18 GMT

Today is a national holiday. Clearly. There are big sales and ads for big sales. Schools are dismissed, post office and government offices. Yet it’s not the holiday you may think.

It is National Web Alert Sign-Up Day!

Note to Self

Kathy Litton — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 11:43:19 GMT

A few months into my husband's first ministry position, one of the other staff wives from our church dropped by my house for coffee. I was a 24-year-old college pastor's wife with very little ministry (and life) experience and a whole lot of questions. She, on the other hand, had years of experience in marriage, motherhood, and ministry. As soon as she entered my home, I wanted to shake her and say, "Spill the beans!" Or more accurately, "HELP ME!" Being new to marriage and ministry, I felt so young, so inexperienced, and so very vulnerable.

We talked about scrapbooking, of all things.

I Quit!

Lori McDaniel — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 14:44:33 GMT

My third grade son plays on a fifth grade basketball team. We attend a small classical school and we don’t quite have enough kids to fill the team. Therefore, my son plays with a group of big kids and most nights he loves it. However, last night was a different story. We played a team that is especially aggressive and he did not want to play.

The Sin Nobody Talks About

Kathy Litton — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 14:03:07 GMT

In my last post, we looked at The Comparison Game and how detrimental it is to our spiritual and emotional health. One of the dangers of playing this game (and continuing to feel "less than") is that jealousy can get a death grip on our heart. Jealousy, or envy, has been the root cause of devastating sin in the church and this world, and we would be wise to take a more serious look at it. Jealousy is so easy to fall into because it plays into our insecurities. It kills love, destroys friendships and is like a malignancy of the spirit (see above scripture.)

The Game You Will Never Win

Darren Pyle — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 14:48:39 GMT

Why do we torment ourselves by playing The Comparison Game?

It’s part of human nature – evaluating the looks or accomplishments of others and comparing them with our own. We may not even realize we are doing this, until the dark feelings of discouragement and discontentment begin to settle on us. As someone once said, “To compare is to despair.” Women are particularly vulnerable to this game. We can quickly determine how we measure up with another in importance, abilities or the Cute Outfit Quotient. It’s been called the “sidelong glance” – instantly sizing up someone out of the corner of our eye, or being sized up ourselves.

What Saves My Sundays

Kathy Litton — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 04:08:38 GMT

Weekends around my house are a little harried. Our church holds Saturday evening and Sunday morning worship services which means my family stays busy most of the weekend. When we get back home, we’re tired. And hungry. The last thing I want to do is spend hours in the kitchen cooking and cleaning

(Ok, let’s face it. I never want to spend hours in the kitchen cooking and cleaning.)

The Parable of the Peep Toe Shoe

Lori McDaniel — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 14:10:45 GMT

I have a confession.

Granted I will never be confused as a fashionista--my wardrobe far too full of workout gear, flip flops and comfy but boring items to suggest otherwise. So the upcoming confession is no real news . In a rush before church while donning a fashionable pair of peep-toe shoes my unfashionable toes were NOT making a statement . Yet I had no time. Yes, I did. One toe, the one toe exposed in the shoes got swiftly manicured and painted an eye-popping red.

Embracing the Nations

Lori McDaniel — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 03:03:19 GMT

Like many of you, I have been privileged to take mission trips in various parts of the world. My husband and I just returned from India, the exotic land of famous missionaries William Carey and Amy Carmichael. We taught at a conference for local believers in conjunction with a celebration of the Bangalore Baptist Hospital’s fortieth anniversary, an institution of amazing growth and influence. It was challenging, exhausting and exhilarating - usually all at the same time!

Five Books that Changed My Life

Lori McDaniel — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 04:27:27 GMT

I posed this question to the Flourish team: "What five books would be on your ideal bookshelf?"

Today we hear from Kasey Ewing:

I grew up as a rebellious pastors kid and found myself pregnant my freshman year in college, which forced me to begin searching for my own relationship with the Lord. I stumbled upon A Christians Secret to a Happy Life. It changed my relationship with the Lord. I had grown up surrounded by church people who made a relationship with the Lord feel like a death sentence and this book helped realign my view of Christianity.

I said, “I do,” but do I?

Kathy Litton — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 03:41:21 GMT

It’s something I keep before me. I’m not going to slack off. I can’t. None of us are above immoral failures nor below it. You know it’s true. Someone comes to our mind right about now that is walking through a divorce, counseling, or leaving the ministry because of this. It sickens me to think that the enemy snickers ever so loudly when he ensnares a Christian leader with impure thoughts and adulterous actions. It saddens me to think that it happens all to often and among those we esteem as pastors and ministry leaders.

Mark Your Calendar!

Kathy Litton — Sun, 27 Jan 2013 14:11:05 GMT

Did you know there are TWO great opportunities over the next few weeks to connect with other Pastors’ wives and women in ministry? If you need to be encouraged and equipped to do all that you do, then don’t miss these events:

The JustONE Conference
Hosted by Leading and Loving It, is a free (yes, I said free), virtual conference for all Pastors’ Wives and Women in Ministry. This 3 week conference (Jan 28- Feb 12) will include over 15 speakers sharing from their personal lives and leadership.

The Velocity Conference
Hosted by Churchplanters.com, Velocity aims to inspire, encourage, and equip pastors and their teams with highly practical workshops and teachers who speak right to the heart.

The Recorder

Kathy Litton — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 01:38:15 GMT

My youngest son Jackson is learning to play the recorder in music class at his classical school. He comes home excited each day to play for me a few more notes he is learning from Amazing Grace. He plays it in the car, the house, and often outside when I need a musical break from his practice. Jackson was very attached to his recorder so imagine my surprise when he comes into my room in the middle of the night to tell me he can’t find his recorder and he has music the next day. I send him back to bed and tell him we will look for it in the morning.

She Un-Friended Me

Kathy Litton — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 22:50:33 GMT

We were friends. Good friends. Our daughters played together and enjoyed sleepovers. We laughed at the same jokes and sent each other encouraging texts. I loved seeing her face as I walked through the church lobby….she simply warmed my heart. I loved her entire family. We weren’t BFF’s, if you want to categorize it, but we were good friends. Then, one day, she and her family decided to attend another church. Knowing it might be awkward for her, I called to put her mind at ease. Go where God is leading you, I said.

I Want My Mama but Ben and Jerry's Will Do

Kathy Litton — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 15:21:11 GMT

Maybe two months into us being San Franciscans, we as a family were starting to get the hang of things. Or at least how to shop smarter at Safeway realizing that we had to carry groceries home by foot rather than load them into the car. We were certainly walking more...that being a good thing. Not to mention I got the van towed, so walking was cheaper too.
Old Navy had their jeans for $10 this particular weekend, so we made it a family outing.

Flourish On The Road- Colorado

Darren Pyle — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 15:43:43 GMT

We are coming to you! Flourish is taking our first road trip to encourage and equip minister's wives.

Colorado is our first trip. You can register for Jan 26 or Feb.2. Hope to see you there!

Join Flourish Hello Mornings

Kathy Litton — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 01:52:26 GMT

OK, so here are the details. What is HelloMornings? The HelloMornings challenge is essentially an online accountability group.We provide 3 sessions a year where "tech groups" (Facebook or Twitter) can gather together to encourage one another in their goals to spend more time with Jesus, plan their day, and exercise. We have set up our own Flourish HelloMornings group—just for ministry wives—to "meet" together over the 13 weeks of the HelloMornings challenge. Anyone is welcome to join the challenge, but this group will be for ministry wives only.

If I Have Money I Buy Books

Kathy Litton — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 15:45:58 GMT

“When I get a little money, I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes.” Erasmus

LOVE that quote! And my bookshelves show it. (Don’t think I’m going hungry though. My thighs show that!) My favorite books have water soaked edges and coffee stains. The pages of them are marked with ink that has bled through to the other side. Each of these books is timely and timeless. They spoke in past seasons of life, but also I frequently delve into their pages mining the nuggets of wisdom.

May We Introduce, HelloMornings

Jennifer Frank — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 17:19:11 GMT

It's New Year's Eve 2004, and I am in a deep late-night conversation with a college student in our ministry. Yet I suddenly feel very ill. A wave a nausea hits me like a wall I've slammed into, and I feel so. very. tired. It is almost 2AM, after all. So, I finish up our conversation, we pray together and I head to bed. I would never be the same after that first bout of nausea. Yep, you guessed it. I was pregnant with my sweet baby. As I fumbled through pregnancy and tumbled into motherhood, I would quickly find that ministry was not the only thing that would be flipped upside down

Top Blogs for 2012- Best Gift I Ever Gave My Daughter

Paula Link — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:47:56 GMT

“You’re really going to appreciate that gift your mother gave you,” my mother-n-law whispered to my daughter. I interrupted, “When I die!” We all started laughing. My mother n’ law said, “Well, that too, but as you get older and your mother gets older, you’re really going to value it.”  My daughter, and first child, graduated high school last year. She received many gifts, but mostly money. The path between the front door and the mailbox was worn out once she figured out graduating equaled checks in the mail!   There was another special gift that I had planned several years before she graduated.

Best Gift I Ever Gave My Daughter

Kathy Litton — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 00:29:33 GMT

“You’re really going to appreciate that gift your mother gave you,” my mother-n-law whispered to my daughter. I interrupted, “When I die!” We all started laughing. My mother n’ law said, “Well, that too, but as you get older and your mother gets older, you’re really going to value it.”

My daughter, and first child, graduated high school last year. She received many gifts, but mostly money. The path between the front door and the mailbox was worn out once she figured out graduating equaled checks in the mail!

There was another special gift that I had planned several years before she graduated. (never too early or too late to do this gift.)

Top Blogs for 2012- The Safeguard

Kathy Litton — Sun, 06 Jan 2013 11:47:25 GMT

I had noticed her looking at him, laughing a little too loud, practically swooning over the brilliance of his sermons and cleverness of his insights. But she was my good friend, and I didn’t consider it flirting, especially since my husband paid no attention to her whatsoever. She was just vivacious and outgoing.
My Bible study leader in our church (I’ll call her Ruth), was a trusted mentor and friend to me. She was the age of my own mom and had unusual spiritual maturity and discernment. So, I wasn’t surprised when she spoke very directly to me one day about my friend’s behavior.

2012 Christmas Card

Kathy Litton — Fri, 21 Dec 2012 13:14:56 GMT

Flourish is a ministry of the North American Mission Board. We are proud to be part of an organization that is so laser focused on advancing the gospel in North America.

Flourish will see you again on January 7, 2013.

North American Mission and Flourish wish you a Merry Christmas and fruitful 2013.

Merry Christmas

Kathy Litton — Wed, 19 Dec 2012 12:45:07 GMT

Newtown: What Must We Do?

Paula Link — Wed, 19 Dec 2012 05:40:51 GMT

We are paralyzed by the images. We try to pull away, but we cannot. We clutch our own with fear and love. We are sad and outraged. Our prayers are without words. Our grief and confusion is immense.

We don’t know what to do.

The discussion of right responses to the shooting in Newtown will continue for a long while. It should. On many layers of society - from the family, to the church, to the government - honest assessment must be made to drive right responses.

What must we do? The blaring voices of CNN, Fox News and Twitter create a noisy stream of reactions and responses.

A Christmas Prayer by Max Lucado

Paula Link — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:52:11 GMT

Dear Jesus,
 It’s a good thing you were born at night. This world sure seems dark. I have a good eye for silver linings. But they seem dimmer lately. These killings, Lord. These children, Lord. Innocence violated. Raw evil demonstrated. 
The whole world seems on edge. Trigger-happy. Ticked off. We hear threats of chemical weapons and nuclear bombs. Are we one button-push away from annihilation?

Transplanted

Darren Pyle — Fri, 14 Dec 2012 13:27:44 GMT

Where is your home? When you think about the idea of home, what comes to mind?

I recently enjoyed the company of a pastor’s wife who is a little more experienced than I am. Like me, she was transplanted from the Deep South to the far North. When I asked her what has been the most helpful thing for her as a ministry wife, she told me that there came a point when she had to make a choice to make this place her home.

Uhaul.me

Paula Link — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 13:44:44 GMT

The house is almost empty. Each space echoes the movements of the last hours of packing. Odds and ends need to find a cranny to fit in, while dust bunnies are swept away and long lost treasures are discovered under the beds.

My heart is filled with thankfulness. I cannot imagine how to do this without help! Our church family has carried us through these crazy last days of our time here. I truly thought our time here would be longer

I Battle Against Feeling Alone

Kathy Litton — Tue, 11 Dec 2012 03:23:37 GMT

The mundane of motherhood can leave me feeling forgotten. I am oh-so-easily overwhelmed with the piles of laundry, messy bathrooms, and dirty dishes. The love, discipline, and attention my children need is emotionally taxing. And, while there are great benefits to being a pastor's wife, there are many nights where I think I might just scream if I have to put the kids to bed on my own again. It is hard not to feel alone when there is no one with me in the day-to-day moments.

Giving God Glory in Our Suffering

Kathy Litton — Tue, 11 Dec 2012 17:42:53 GMT

Not once but twice I heard the doctor pronounce the riveting, earth shaking words “It is cancer.” In 2006 I had surgery, chemotherapy and radiation for an aggressive triple negative breast cancer. From 1970-1990 I had worked as a registered cytotechnologist and diagnosed cancer in a lab working with pathologists. I knew the implications of this diagnosis and the potential suffering that accompanied treatments.

Typical Shmypical

Kathy Litton — Sun, 09 Dec 2012 03:01:08 GMT

We’ve all said it. Or at least thought it.

“I’m not the typical pastor’s wife.” (muttered with pride)
“I don’t wear the denim skirts and holiday vests.” (said with even more pride)
“I’m not the kind that is pressured to say yes to every opportunity at church. For that matter, (with a toss of our hair), I don’t even carry a guilty conscience if I have to miss because of sick kids or a sick mini-van.”

“I don’t fit the mold. I break the mold!” (A victory dance goes on in the heart!)

Giving it ALL Away

Darren Pyle — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 13:43:44 GMT

For Christmas last year my husband gave each of us one hundred dollars--sort of. We received the hundred dollars, but on the condition that we give fifty of it away. Brad asked us to pray and ask the Lord to show us who He would like us to share our money with. We were not allowed to spend our fifty until we gave our fifty away. I knew immediately who I wanted to give mine to and waited for the perfect opportunity.

I Canceled Christmas

Lori McDaniel — Tue, 04 Dec 2012 03:51:31 GMT

I've made some big decisions in my life;
The day we sold everything and moved to Africa,
The day we decided to plant a new church in America,
And last week when I canceled our biggest Women's event at our church.

I canceled our biggest women's event at church!

The People Pleaser

Paula Link — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 13:58:56 GMT

Confession: I am a people pleaser. Wanting people to like me or approve of me as a pastor’s wife has caused me to take on jobs or projects I didn’t want, and frankly, wasn’t good at. Eventually I learned a lesson about pleasing people that changed my thinking.

There was a woman in our church that sat near me every Sunday. She was quite the fashionista – always in dramatic designer outfits and accessories, perfect makeup and hair, the whole persona.

Advent

Paula Link — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 15:22:59 GMT

This Sunday, Dec 4 marks the beginning of the Advent season. This is a period of four weeks of praying, perhaps fasting, reading scripture and anticipating our Lord’s birth on Christmas Day. Similar to Lent, it allows time and space in a busy season to contemplate the coming of Christ and the miracle of the incarnation.
Advent is a period of waiting – an intentional effort that helps us avoid what Stanley Grenz calls our culture’s “drive through Christmas” attitude.

(Not) Spiritual Superheroes

Kathy Litton — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 22:27:30 GMT

Recently, I was spending time with a friend (I’ll call her Lisa) who also happens to be a pastor’s wife. We were chatting about life, family, and ministry, and she told me of the difficulties she was experiencing in her personal life. She’s dealing with medical issues with her aging mother….issues that drain Lisa emotionally and physically, requiring the majority of her time.

We're Closed

Lori McDaniel — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 06:00:59 GMT

Happy Friendsgiving

Paula Link — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 15:23:54 GMT

Relevant Magazine recently reposted an article called “Happy Friendsgiving”. It reminded me of the fourteen years our family served in Denver, CO hundreds of miles from our extended families. Our Thanksgivings became Friendsgivings and we had never heard the term.Our kids grew up knowing holidays that were decked out with friends who became family in those moments. I miss those years.

Grace: When Thanksgiving is Unbearable

Paula Link — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 14:26:42 GMT

Thanksgiving, that day for saying "thanks" may actually feel unbearable. When a holiday collides with grief, loss or more pain than blessings gathering round that turkey will take everything we have and then some.

Some years ago my family faced such a Thursday in November. That unbearable day was met by Grace.

Thankful Tree

Paula Link — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 21:55:29 GMT

It’s November which means Thanksgiving is right around the corner. I don’t know about you, but I have touches of Fall throughout my home – a wreath on the front door, swags of Fall leaves hanging around my house, pumpkins, gourds, and, yes, even a Thanks-giving Tree. A what, you ask? A friend told me about this idea, and I thought it was so fabulous that I encouraged the Girlfriends of Mountain Lake to make some, too. 

When God is Your Job

Paula Link — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 19:28:09 GMT

One of the things we have to guard against as spiritual leaders is letting our relationship with God become a job that we have to do, rather than a relationship that we want to nurture. For everyone in ministry -- from lead pastors to lay leaders -- the lines between "job" and "relationship" can quickly become blurry. It's easy to just keep doing what is expected of you without realizing that you are becoming cold in heart.

Paralyzed

Kathy Litton — Sat, 10 Nov 2012 16:12:51 GMT

I see the field and am overwhelmed with the number of people hurting. Searching. The people I'm pouring into. The people I think need me. The numbers. The task. It paralyzes me. It keeps me from doing anything at all.

Working 9 to 5

Kathy Litton — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 04:33:15 GMT

Most of my years in ministry were spent either officially working for the church or volunteering for anything that needed to be done at the church. All of my work experience had been at church, until I took a job in sales. My husband and I felt like God was calling us to get completely out of debt. So, we committed to a few years of me working full time.

Believe When We Don't Feel Like It

Kathy Litton — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 12:28:31 GMT

I can tell it has been another bad day by the way he walks in the door, his shoulders slightly slumped and the grin that used to welcome me is turned upside down. He pretends to smile for me and the kids but it never fully reaches his eyes. He unloads all his stuff onto the dresser but the weight of years of disappointments rest heavily on his shoulders.

I watch him, wondering how to help ease his irritation. I want to offer words of encouragement but they stick in my throat, not knowing how to dislodge his hurt. When I finally open my mouth, my suggestions sound canned and only increases the hurt. He gently responds to me, “I know the correct answers but I am just mad.” His wounds masks themselves as anger but deep into his green eyes you see the hurt.

Sittin' the Bench

Kathy Litton — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 12:26:50 GMT

My oldest son is a high school quarterback who sits the bench. His school has a great senior quarterback and so my sophomore child gets to practice his heart out but rarely plays under the Friday night lights. However, He is still required to attend all the practices (twice daily), show up for all the functions, and sell all the latest fundraisers but when game time comes; he watches from the sidelines

The Most Important Lesson I Ever Learned

Paula Link — Tue, 06 Nov 2012 16:55:14 GMT

My husband and I moved to Cumming, Georgia to start Mountain Lake Church in May of 1999 in true parachute plant fashion. We simply dropped into the community and got started. We joined civic organizations and Mom’s groups to get to know people, and of course we met our neighbors. So when we were ready to announce our plans to start a church, we invited people to a grill out, and we were stoked to have 18 people show up.

Frapps and Jesus

Kathy Litton — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 11:30:50 GMT

On March 25, 2007, my oldest daughter, Hannah, was baptized. It was a fabulous day in the Lovejoy home. Family came in from out of town, we cooked a big meal, presents were given, and we burned up the batteries in my camera. Making a decision for God is a big deal to us.

To be sure, we partied that day. But more important than celebrating the event of that day is celebrating the spiritual growth that happens afterward

Meet Heather Messick

Kathy Litton — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 17:14:23 GMT

You and Mark are the proud parents of three beautiful daughters. Your youngest, Victoria, is a special needs child. Tell how her birth and life has changed you as parents.

When Victoria was born with Down syndrome (and major heart defects that later required open-heart surgery), Mark and I were both very emotional. (Well, actually, I was a basket case!) It took a little while for me to accept the turn my “road of life” had taken. I had no prior experience with special needs individuals and doubted my ability to be a good mother to my new baby.

Shamefully Transparent

Kathy Litton — Sat, 27 Oct 2012 11:07:21 GMT

When does being a good role model require that we admit our sins?

My husband and I are willing to admit our mistakes. If we err, we face to up to it. Something we’ve never faced, though, is the question, “Have you ever committed this sin?” No one has ever asked us about specific failures, not in all our time on the field. It seems no one dares interrogate The Missionary.

Little Arguments, BIG Reactions

Darren Pyle — Fri, 26 Oct 2012 14:09:40 GMT

We were married, in ministry, and fought all the time!

Our arguments were tsunami-like. Unexpected, explosive waves that crashed upon the landscape of our marriage. Each of us was in shock from the volatility of our reactions. Once things calmed, neither of us had the wherewithal to know where to begin the clean up. Some days we just wandered in the mess trying to avoid further injury.

Marriage i-Chats

Darren Pyle — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 14:16:47 GMT

I told her it would just be two minutes. I needed to reheat my coffee. Yes, I’m the type that does that.

She was just finishing lunch on her side of the country.

I was brushing off muffin crumbs from the table on my side of the country. With my reheated, tasty cup of Joe, I was calling my friend on ichat

The Safeguard

Darren Pyle — Mon, 22 Oct 2012 13:42:39 GMT

I had noticed her looking at him, laughing a little too loud, practically swooning over the brilliance of his sermons and cleverness of his insights. But she was my good friend, and I didn’t consider it flirting, especially since my husband paid no attention to her whatsoever. She was just vivacious and outgoing.

My Bible study leader in our church (I’ll call her Ruth), was a trusted mentor and friend to me. She was the age of my own mom and had unusual spiritual maturity and discernment. So, I wasn’t surprised when she spoke very directly to me one day about my friend’s behavior.

I Watched My Wife....

Paula Link — Wed, 17 Oct 2012 13:49:35 GMT

It was 2:17 p.m. on a Thursday when my Nextel alerted me. Looking down, I saw my wife’s name on the screen. I heard her sobbing plea, ‘I need you to come home, please.’ My stomach turned upside down, my head started throbbing, and my heart was racing. Something was wrong.

Arriving home, I walked into an unwanted situation with my wife crying on the couch surrounded by our two children, Anna (11) and Drew (8). The biopsy report confirmed our greatest fear, CANCER. Anje was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive “Inflammatory Breast Cancer.”

An Uninvited Guest by Jeana Floyd

Darren Pyle — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 12:54:05 GMT

Breast Cancer Awareness month is designed to heighten awareness of this destructive disease. Cancer invades women’s lives far too often. We strongly encourage you dear readers to be proactive in your own health. Early detection is critical in the battle against breast cancer. If your mammogram is overdue or you have yet to have one- RUN don’t walk to schedule it. (I just scheduled mine)

Today’s post will introduce you to a ministry wife who is breast cancer survivor. Jeana Floyd is the wife of Pastor Ronnie Floyd and a dear personal friend. An Uninvited Guest is a superbly written chronicle of her journey. Her book should be on the bedside of every woman fighting breast cancer.

When You Feel Like You're Battling Hard by Ann Voscamp

Paula Link — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 16:36:53 GMT

Sometimes words aren't necessary to recreate. Reading words penned by others in their vulnerability often organizes our own thoughts and emotions of which we have not yet articulated, but deeply feel. It extracts a realization in the heart that others experience and know the paths we walk.

When I read this blog, I knew that if Ann Voskamp was describing my own journey of battling hard, she was probably describing many of yours too.

Friendship 101

Darren Pyle — Wed, 10 Oct 2012 19:07:11 GMT

As my husband began a series on friends, God reminded me to have good friends I have to be a good friend. As I set out to determine who my true friends are and to establish real genuine friendships, I came up with these criteria to be a better friend and develop healthy friendships.  

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. Proverbs 27:6  A good friend is willing to tell the truth in love and to receive truth. I have a college buddy who will tell me the truth.

Friendship is Hard (and How to Make it Easier)

Paula Link — Mon, 08 Oct 2012 12:43:19 GMT

It seems I am not the only one who struggles with friendship. On my blog, I recently wrote about these struggles (What a Nursing Bra Taught Me About Friendship) and women shared their own friendship woes with me. We're all in the same boat, it seems. It all got me thinking: aside from the logistical issues of marriage, children, and work responsibilities that make connecting difficult, why are adult friendships so hard?

A Call (Literally) to Pray

Paula Link — Fri, 05 Oct 2012 14:22:16 GMT

Recently on a Sunday morning at an odd hour—the odd hour being when the pastor and his wife are getting dressed for church—our home phone rang. (Yes, we have a rarely used landline. Why we have it? I do not know.) The phone ringing got our attention. Ed was showering and I stood dazed and confused before a ransacked closet (just being honest).

 The answering machine recorded an unfamiliar voice of a man with an unfamiliar name. “Pastor Litton, you don’t know me, my name is…” the voice began. The pleading voice was a broken hearted parent-- a place we have both been.

The Table Experience by Devi Titus

Paula Link — Wed, 03 Oct 2012 12:42:57 GMT

I can’t think of many books that I couldn’t put down once I opened them and I sure can’t think of many books that inspired me to cook. However, The Table Experience by Devi Titus did both. The tag line is “Discover What Creates Deeper, More Meaningful Relationships”. Who can resist that?  

Devi posits that the family meal is infinitely more meaningful and nourishing that just eating a meal together. She blends academic research with biblical principles and explains why eating together at a table can actually nourish the emotional bonds of relationships.

We Are Family

Darren Pyle — Mon, 01 Oct 2012 13:19:06 GMT

I’ve been a ministry wife for 10 years. I’ve been that wife that is hidden at home birthing and nursing babies. I’ve also been that wife that ends up taking on one more Bible Study, one more nursery rotation, one more middle of the night prayer slot, and one more pot luck meal.

Other than that, a church staff wife is usually identified by her husband’s name or title and is greeted by such when she walks through the church door. “You’re husband did such a great job on Sunday. Tell him we said that, okay?”

Flourishing

Darren Pyle — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 20:14:50 GMT

My devotional this morning reminded me of why this website is called “Flourish”. Colossians 2:6-7 says, “As you have received Christ the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving.”

It’s a familiar verse, but it is a good reminder of what the general direction of my life should be as a follower of Jesus. I must be established in Him, in His word and in solid doctrine. It should show in my character and lifestyle (I pray it does). Those are the roots of my faith.

Tools for Moms

Darren Pyle — Thu, 27 Sep 2012 14:29:36 GMT

I don’t claim to be an expert on mothers but this I DO KNOW. Moms always can use support. They fight a daily barrage of endless demands created by little people while albeit precious they are thankless and not nearly helpful enough. They also desire to parent well and struggle to feel adequate in that assignment.

Flourish wants to add a few things to mom’s tool belt along the way. One of the benefits of the web world is to make helpful resources available as great tools for mothering. (Yes, we are aware a NAP is at top of your list of your needs today—sorry we cannot help in that department.)

Liberating Ministry From the Success Syndrome by Kent and Barbara Hughes

Kathy Litton — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 15:23:55 GMT

I have rarely read a book about ministry that is as candid and straightforward as this book. With almost painful honesty and profound insights, Kent and Barbara Hughes recount their experience of a “failed” church plant and the valuable lessons they gained from it.

Their story begins with their church starting a new congregation in another part of their city. The Hughes served on the staff and it was decided that Kent would be the founding pastor. According to all the formulas, this church plant should have been wildly successful. They had done their homework regarding the demographics of the community.

The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller

Kathy Litton — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 15:21:06 GMT

Friends share the discovery of a great book. What is on our nightstand, what we read while in the carpool line or on the subway can be life giving. Plus, the old mantra “Leaders are readers” is very true. The life giving lessons we receive from books can be poured into others.

This bookshelf will not necessarily be formal reviews, but one woman telling another “You’ve GOT to read this book.” We recommend these books on two levels—how these books have impacted our personal journeys and/or how these books have impacted our ministry lives.

The Meaning of Marriage by Tim and Kathy Keller is the book I am placing on the Flourish bookshelf today.

Scared

Darren Pyle — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 12:46:18 GMT

Last night we were driving home from dinner with some friends. It was late and the houses glowed with lights and stories and lives. I knew each house held people whose existence was somewhat rooted in their little home.

As we drove up to our home, I was gripped with fear. The for-sale sign sat slanted on the edge of our yard. All our roots are feeling a little uprooted lately.

Mad

Lori McDaniel — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 03:03:03 GMT

A few weeks ago I sat down across from a good friend. We’ve done life and ministry together for years. She came over to share some things she recently heard someone else say about me, fearing they might be true. They were selfish, ugly things, and upon hearing them the room started spinning and my stomach turned over. It was one of those moments when you want to fight someone, or retreat and cry all night in a pillow.

Nothing she said was close to true. I felt misrepresented, misunderstood and judged. I was as mad as I was hurt.

Refreshing Reminders: The Power of a Wife Who Remembers

Paula Link — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 20:58:58 GMT

Today, I’m finishing a series of Refreshing Reminders for all of us wives. For the last few days, I’ve shared some of Pastor Steven Furtick’s words to a group of 17 Pastor’s wives at a retreat hosted by my friend Holly Furtick. His words are relevant not just for wives of men in ministry, but for every married woman. The title of his talk? “What Your Husband Needs.” Let’s dive in.

Refreshing Reminders: The Power of an Encouraging Wife

Darren Pyle — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 18:20:46 GMT

Today, I’m continuing a series of Refreshing Reminders for all of us wives. Recently, I shared a bit of Pastor Steven Furtick’s words to a group of 17 Pastor’s wives at a retreat hosted by my friend Holly Furtick. His words are relevant not just for wives of men in ministry, but for every married woman. The title of his talk? “What Your Husband Needs.” Let’s dive in.

Refreshing Reminders: The Power of a Praying Wife

Lori McDaniel — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 19:58:13 GMT

A couple of years ago, I had the honor of spending a few days with 16 other Pastor’s wives (PW’s) from across the country at a retreat called Refresh. We worshiped, laughed, shared ministry tips, and stayed up way too late each night. The retreat was hosted by my friend, Holly Furtick, wife of Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC. We spent two and a half days sharpening each other regarding our own personal growth, our family life, our positions in our churches, and especially our friendships. It did my heart a world of good to hang out with my friends.

Praying for Your Child

Darren Pyle — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 02:11:44 GMT

Dear Moms,

What stage and circumstance is your child in? No matter their age or where they are, they are never far from your heart. From the time your child was born, you have had to release control. You let go of their hand as they took their first step, as they walked to school, spent the night away, drove for the first time, or moved out of the house. The path of releasing is at times paved with nervous sweetness as they grow up; and sometimes covered with overwhelming distress as they choose wrong paths.

This controlling mom has had to learn to trust God with my most precious treasures- my children! Here is the Word I pray for each of them. It bathes them in prayer, acknowledges God is in control, and comforts this mom's heart!

O LORD, you have searched my child and know my child!
You know when my child sits down and when my child rises up;
you discern my child's thoughts from afar...

Leadership: Like It or Not

Darren Pyle — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 02:06:10 GMT

Often a ministry wife hesitates to call herself a leader. For a variety of individualistic reasons we may shy away from the “leader” label. Yet we are. Some of us it like it. Some of us don’t.

It is unwise for us to resist, ignore or deny it. Embracing our leadership role whether wanted or not will help us begin to steward it more effectively.

Spiritual Heat Index

Darren Pyle — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 12:47:09 GMT

I live in Louisiana and it is hot right now, the hot that burns your skin when you get in your car and you squirm for the first five minutes of your route. HOT. Each morning the radio tells me what the actual temperature is and then they tell me what the temperature FEELS like. For example, today at eight a.m. it is eighty degrees but it already feels like ninety and I already need another shower. I began pondering the difference between what the temperature feels like and what it actually is and I wonder who really cares what the degree of the heat is outside - all I care about is how it feels to me.

Helen Gurley Brown and Grace

Darren Pyle — Wed, 05 Sep 2012 12:51:26 GMT

I recently read of the death of Helen Gurley Brown, the legendary “Cosmo Girl”. For those of you younger than I (much younger), her name may not be familiar. But for those of us who lived thru the tumultuous 60s and 70s, we remember her well. Helen was the author of Sex and the Single Girl and editor of Cosmopolitan Magazine, a magazine devoted to the feminist agenda and the philosophy that women “could have it all”. She differed from the more intellectual feminists of the day by urging women to use their feminine wiles (aka manipulation) to get what they wanted from men. Her philosophy: Women have what men want (sex). Men have what women want (money, power). So use what you have to get what you want – a la “Sex and the City”.

5 Things I’ve Never Regretted Doing

Darren Pyle — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 14:00:34 GMT

Recently, on Living with Power by Lina Abujamra, a post caught my eye. On a "Random Friday" she created a list of five things she never regretted doing. Short, simple but actually very helpful items.

On the surface a post like this may feel trivial, yet when my mind went to my "5 Things...." list I discovered there were many insignificant and significant things I DID regret. Clearly we all want to reduce any regret in our lives....right?

Does Satan Lose Confidence?

Darren Pyle — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 13:51:33 GMT

My family was thrilled when we came upon a pride of 8 lions on our safari in Africa. It was like a National Geographic episode right before us. The intensity of our exhilaration soared when we realized these lions had strategically flanked out across the valley as they watched an antelope that had strayed from its herd. Yes! Sadly, we didn't care about the antelope. We WANTED to see the lion kill! Except the sound of my camera snapping, no one made a sound as we watched the careless grazing antelope walk right into the lion's trap. A few lions stealthily moved for a better position; then, as if an alarm was sounded, the fiercely charged.

The antelope literally "ran for his life." Like a dancer he quickly twisted and turned from the plain up a high mountain and evaded death. I'm not sure who was more disappointed, the lions or us! After the unsuccessful kill, our safari guide something I’ll never forget, “When lions miss their kill they begin to lose confidence.”

Anti-Wrinkle Remedy

Darren Pyle — Mon, 27 Aug 2012 12:57:31 GMT

Just the other day, I told my dear friend that I’m gonna age, wrinkle, and gray quicker as a church planter's wife. It's not a direct result of being a church planter’s wife - I promise you that, for I find myself surrounded by the bravest, most flourishing church planter's wives on the planet.

It's how I LET the wear and tear affect me. Affect me physically as stress, unstable emotions, busy seasons, constant decision-making, burdens, and pressures of the city crowd my mind and trickle down to the rest of me.

Leading With a Purpose

Darren Pyle — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:13:52 GMT

Jenni Catron, the Executive Director for Cross Point Church in Nashville is a young, up-and-coming, dynamic leader. She sits in the second chair of her church, if you want to think of it in organizational hierarchy terms. Needless to say, she is a catalyst, a speaker, a leader, a lover of Christ, and my friend. She is all about raising women leaders in the church. She has shared with me some great stats on the number of women involved in corporate America as opposed to those involved in leadership in our churches. Let’s just say, the corporate world is getting the best of us.

Dehydrated

Darren Pyle — Wed, 22 Aug 2012 17:30:31 GMT

My lips are cracked.
Chapped. 
Dry. 
I rub them together and know I need water. Lots of water. 
It’s been too long.
 I should have sensed it coming.  

I’ve lost all moisture in my lips.

Heart to Heart About Men

Darren Pyle — Mon, 20 Aug 2012 18:52:41 GMT

Not long ago, I finished a book worth reading: Heart To Heart About Men is an oldie, but goodie. God is using it to:

* make adjustments in the way I respond to my husband
* help me admit sins I didn’t recognize
* and, draw me closer to Himself.

Why a Small Town is a Great Place to Raise Children

Darren Pyle — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 13:28:12 GMT

Recently Kathy Keller wrote a blog piece, “Why the City is a Wonderful Place to Raise Children”. Kathy is a good communicator and her post is encouraging to church planters and their families who are called to urban areas. Conventional wisdom says large cities are not a good place to bring up kids, but she brings a positive perspective on the adventures of big city living.

I basically agree with her and would prefer to live in a city myself. However, I think there is a perception that a small town ministry is not nearly as hip or culturally relevant as one in a big city.

Confessions of a Pastor’s Wife: Doubting God’s Love

Darren Pyle — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 17:27:35 GMT

Have you ever experienced something bad? I mean, really bad. Life changing, earth shaking bad? We all have…..or we’re going to. Bad things happen to everyone. The reality is we live in a fallen world full of disease, death, and sin. (Yeah, real bright post, huh?) Does that mean God doesn’t love us? Well, the Christian teacher in me says no. Absolutely not. But, my human heart has screamed otherwise.

In 2001, I experienced not one, but two miscarriages. The first one shocked me, but I recovered well and chalked it up to “these things happen.” A few months later, I had a second miscarriage, though, that rocked my world. I couldn’t believe it.

Dear Stay At Home Mom

Darren Pyle — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 14:15:41 GMT

SOMEHOW IT FEELS REFRESHING TO BE REMINDED THAT there are no perfect moms, no perfect children, no perfect home, no perfect marriage, and no perfect wife. Dear Stay At Home Mom, Trevin's simple blog reminder may be just what you need for your heart today.

You Know You're a Mom When....

Lori McDaniel — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 22:38:50 GMT

Last December, my family spent a few days in Gatlinburg, TN. We walked the strip, ate at The Apple Barn (yes, we bought some Apple Butter), got car sick driving the windy roads of the Smokies, and bought souvenirs for the kids.

Our trip was extra fun because my husband’s sister met us up there with her family. We love Tanya and Brian, but we rarely get to spend extended time with them. So having several days together was terrific. All of the kids goofed off and laughed, we swapped Christmas presents, and spent way too much time in Fannie Farkles Arcade (hey, it’s the South. Don’t judge our stupid names.)

Portable Church

Lori McDaniel — Sun, 05 Aug 2012 02:55:04 GMT

As I drove by the school our church met in, my son said to his friend, "That's where our church meets." In protest, the boy next to him said, "That's not a church, that's a school." Technically he was right.I glanced in the rearview mirror as my son explained in his 9 year old way, "I know it's a school, but we use the building for our church to meet in."

My 9 year old understood a simple truth that many adults forget. The building isn't the church, the people are. That truth is so real when you are a portable church.

Every Sunday for 5 years, as the sun came up, we "set up church." And as most people were eating lunch, we were packing it back up into the trailer again. We wiped dried milk and crumbs out of plastic school cafeteria chairs and arranged them for worship. We unpacked an 8 ft trailer with audio equipment. We unfolded pack- n' plays used for baby beds in a narrow elementary hallway. No special lighting. No stages. It was raw and creatively simple.

Semper Fidelis

Darren Pyle — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:21:12 GMT

My life includes zero exposure to military culture so I rarely think in that genre. Yet recently I found myself thinking in military terms as I met with ministry wives and ministry women during recent international trip. I have heard the Marines referred to as “the tip of the spear” and seen images of Navy Seals propelling down lines from helicopters in treacherous places. Well, I have met their female ministry counterparts face to face. Now that I am back in the safe, comfortable confines of my life I cannot get their stories or faces out of my heart. Their stories need to be told and yet their stories cannot be told.

Remaining Unoffended

Paula Link — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 21:32:26 GMT

Ten years ago today unexpected, unwanted circumstances invaded my life. I became a widow and my children lost their father. We joined the masses of innumerable families where death visited far too soon.

God was behaving unpredictably. We wanted to know why this happened to us. Surely an explanation would be forthcoming to make divine sense of our pain.

As believers we could proclaim with the sincerest of heart that we would not question God. And in our good moments we pulled that off.

Yet in darkness, aloneness and at empty holiday tables the “why” came tumbling out, which would often be followed by—“It’s not fair!”

Cover Him in Prayer

Paula Link — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 21:31:21 GMT

We needed to make a decision. I felt I was right, but he would not listen to me. I just wanted to help, but my helping was hurting.

I met a widowed pastor’s wife for lunch one day following this event to glean some wisdom. I asked her to share how she got her husband to see her point of view.

She shared a story about a similar experience she had with her own husband early in their marriage. She said that she disagreed with her husband about transportation for a trip. She told her husband she was not going because he would not listen.

0 Shades of Grey

Darren Pyle — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:28:31 GMT

The best- selling Fifty Shades of Grey has become one of the most controversial books in recent years, especially appealing to women. It has been eagerly welcomed into the mainstream of popular literature, even though it is classified as “erotica”. Coined “mommy porn”, it is a sexually explicit story involving sadism, masochism, bondage and other deviant sexual practices between a young woman and a businessman. (Porn differs from erotica in that erotica has a story arc as well as character and plot development.) There are a multitude of reviews, blogs, and articles written from a Christian perspective regarding this book, all extremely helpful in understanding its insidious danger.

Not Exactly Miss Popular

Lori McDaniel — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 17:04:24 GMT

(Editor's Note: Flourish weighs in on the media frenzy regarding Fifty Shades of Grey by hearing from two different women. We want to encourage the right response as women and as leaders of women in the blogs we will post in the next two days.)

I realize that this topic will step on toes & that I am not going to win any popularity prizes. But the media craze on the latest summer entertainment has me sick to my stomach. The easiest way to word this post is to not use my words but rather words from the Bible. Inspired words of God & words that I choose to live my life by.

Sunday's Coming

Darren Pyle — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:39:46 GMT

Sunday's coming.

That's what my husband says on Monday mornings, when he leaves for work with a sermon already on his mind. He's on the clock, and time is ticking away.

Sunday's coming.

I imagine that our worship leader, Joseph, senses the urgency as well as he listens for the Spirit's leading, chooses songs, gathers the team for practice, and prepares his own heart for Sunday's corporate worship.

Sunday's coming.

Marriage Moments

Darren Pyle — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 13:25:45 GMT

It started out as a typical morning in the Ewing house, Brad and I both trying to convince each other why the other should be the one to take Drew to school at six am. Brad did, it was his turn. Brad gets Drew five minutes from school when Drew gets a text that his field trip has been called off due to weather. Sounds harmless, but Drew is dressed for a day in woods, training K-9 dogs, not in his school uniform. Home they go. Minor home irritations lead to some not so nice texts between Brad and I, starting my morning off in frustration.

Flannel Boards and Other Intimidating Stuff

Lori McDaniel — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 21:57:39 GMT

Sometimes I amazed by those families. You know the ones. They have family devotions. EVERY day. The mom creates handy-dandy crafts to complement the devotional lesson. Bible verses are memorized, and their refrigerators are adorned with popsicle-stick characters from the Old Testament. They probably even have their very own flannel board for story-telling. Yeah, those families.

What Others Think I Do

Lori McDaniel — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 01:51:18 GMT

We all had our preconceived ideas of what being a Pastor's wife would be like. What were yours? What did you think it would be like compared to your reality?

It’s Cheesy But True

Lori McDaniel — Sun, 08 Jul 2012 01:08:38 GMT

Warning: This post is going to be painful. It will date me clearly as the 55-year-old woman I am.

In 1976 when I married, as a 19-year-old girl, (you were warned), my mother gave me a classic 70s handmade plaque. Crafts did exist before Pinterest and my mother was into them. She tole painted the plaque that read: “Bloom Where You Are Planted”. I have included a snapshot of MY plaque for the graphic, which is miraculous because I have moved about thirty times since the 70s.

The Circle Maker: Drawing Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears

Lori McDaniel — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 04:31:54 GMT

If it is true that good readers make good leaders, then we need to be intentional about reading good books that inspire us and make us think. One such book is The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson, pastor of National Community Church in Washington D.C. This book challenges the reader to pray from a whole new perspective, as a “circle maker”.

His premise is drawn from the legend of Honi, a Jewish sage who prayed his nation through a dreadful drought. One hot, dusty day Honi drew a circle in the dirt and stepped into it, determined not to leave that circle until the rain fell, quenching the thirst of his land and his people. The rain fell, prayer was answered, and the legend of Honi was born.

Ever Wanted to Fit In?

Lori McDaniel — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 04:16:24 GMT

We had just packed up our kids moved to a new town to serve on church staff. Can you say culture shock?! This new place was way different than where we had previously lived. Women rarely met for bible study, mostly large double incomes, big houses and larger cars. Fancy vacations. Fancy everything. I was in over my head. I felt lonely and out of place everywhere I went. At the same time, I also felt like God was calling our family to live differently. To spend differently. To love differently than we ever have. I felt conflicted everywhere I went. I wanted to love the least of those but was surrounded by daily extravagances. I felt a bitterness rising up in me. I began to resent and dislike the very people God had called me to serve.

God Girl

Lori McDaniel — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 04:00:02 GMT

I don’t have an ounce of rhythm. But when I was introduced to Jamie Grace’s music recently, it mysteriously appeared. Only the kind demonstrated in the kitchen while washing dishes when it’s just me and my four-year-old at home.

Recently, I was in a room full of girls. That’s rare for me, but always a welcomed gift. God Girl by Jamie Grace came on and I quickly asked, “Who are we listening to?” My inner self was dancing!

UNPLUGGED!

Darren Pyle — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 15:11:36 GMT

I recently returned from a Christian family camp in Colorado. While the scenery was breathtaking, weather perfect and activities very adventurous, those were not the things that had such an impact on us as a family. Rather, it was what we like to call, “unplugging.” It is as if someone reached down, picked up our family and transported us to some far away land where there is no such thing as email, cell phones, TV, video games…you get the picture. It was just us. Just us. Certainly, every family in ministry rarely finds the time or opportunity to truly disconnect from everyone and everything in order to focus on family and feel spiritually refreshed. As the week ended and we headed back to Texas, so began our re-entry into the all too familiar world of technology. In those moments, I felt a sadness come over me. That strong, powerful force that is too much to resist was barreling right toward us, and ready to steal away what we had come to know so intimately throughout the week – really being together.

The Help-Part 2

Paula Link — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 14:58:46 GMT

In my last post, I wrote about the complementary nature of a ministry marriage. I want to explore this issue a little further and take a closer look at the spiritual power and synergy that comes from a husband and wife serving God together.

When describing his love for Adrianne, Rocky Balboa stated, “ She’s got gaps, I got gaps, together we fill gaps.” I don’t know a better way to describe the complementary nature of marriage. We all “got gaps” and in God’s divine plan, a married couple balances out their strengths and weaknesses.

The Help-Part 1

Paula Link — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 15:04:56 GMT

In Genesis 2, God says “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper as his complement.” Were truer words ever spoken? Man desperately needs a helper, a woman who has the innate skills to create and manage their home, family and life.

This is especially true in ministry. I have a friend whose husband was in music ministry, serving with a pastor who was single. She told me once, rather wistfully, that while the pastor was a gifted communicator and leader, with a great heart, there was something missing – a wife! She noted how much a “helper” brought to a church family, how influential and enriching that role can be.

Bringing the World to You

Paula Link — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 12:52:41 GMT

Traveling the world has transformed my prayers.
Some I pray with more intensity, while others I pray with more simplicity.
I mumble meaningless words less, and meditate more.
Few words in today's blog. Mostly just photos.
The internet has a away of connecting worlds.
Today, let it connect our words and hearts as ministry wives praying for women around the world.

Adjusting to the Dark

Paula Link — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 12:58:51 GMT

My worship was radically changed on Sunday morning, July 28, 2002, in Denver, Colorado. It had never been more difficult for me to take my usual pastor’s wife place at Riverside Baptist Church—only I was no longer the pastor’s wife and my husband was no longer the pastor. Three days earlier Rick had been killed in a tragic car accident and I was now a forty-five year old widow.

The service that morning ushered me into a strange season of worship—a season of worshipping in the dark. Things that once were clear now seemed veiled in darkness.

Everybody's Got a Seed to Sow

Paula Link — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 15:07:36 GMT

A popular Christian song in the 1980s was Michael W. Smith’s “Seed to Sow”, from his album “Go West Young Man”. That title caught my attention the other day while wandering around ITunes. I’ve been reading through Matthew 13, a chapter pretty much devoted to Jesus’ parables on the sower and the seed. There are three variations of the parable, and I have been pondering them all, seeking to make application to my life. Of course, what I am now doing is singing this little ditty 24/7, since once this tune gets in your mind, it will NOT leave – be forewarned!

This past fall I celebrated a Big Birthday (don’t ask, “Big Birthday” should tell you something.)

Secret to Success

Darren Pyle — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 12:31:06 GMT

Last year, I was honored to spend some time with Rick and Kay Warren. Kay invited me and a few other ladies to speak on a panel to a group of pastors’ wives, and I had such fun. I always enjoy investing into other women in ministry, but I wanted to take advantage of this one-on-one time with Kay to glean her wisdom on a successful ministry life. She and Rick have honorably and faithfully served their church for over 30 years, and during that time they have also invested into countless other pastors and ministry leaders. I admire their tenacity, their compassion, and their integrity.

Praying Like A Muslim

Lori McDaniel — Sat, 16 Jun 2012 13:20:14 GMT

"I was told when I come to America no one will talk to me because of my skin color and the way I dress and speak. But, you people are different. You welcome me and my friends." Dar's thick Pakistani accent required intense listening, but it did not hinder meaningful conversation with my new muslim friend.

Fifteen Muslim women and 10 Christ-followers gathered at a small Baptist Church. Not a typical place to build relationships with Muslims. The building, however, was obsolete. The atmosphere was casual enough we could have been in a coffee shop.

Months before our gathering, a handful of Christian women had asked these Muslim women to teach them about Islam. That conversation built a bridge as they reciprocated, "will you now teach us about the Christian faith?" A huge door opened!

Walking Behind My Husband Mirrors My Relationship with Jesus

Paula Link — Wed, 13 Jun 2012 14:16:07 GMT

PAKISTAN – One thing about this culture that many of you probably know is the custom of the woman walking behind the man, sometimes at a certain distance. Well, any of you who know me probably know that this is not something I am very excited to do. I want to be close to my husband Will* and I want to talk to him. Sometimes I even want to hold his hand (GASP!). That is not something I can do here (but just wait until we go on vacation to a country where I can do that… people better watch out because there will be some major hand holding going on!). However, one of our language teachers recently described the reason behind this custom. In the opinion of our teacher, this is about protection for the woman. If Will and I are walking down the street, the other men on the street will have to look at Will before they look at me, and seeing my husband before me means that he is protecting me and that they should cast their glances to other parts of the street because I am spoken for; not only spoken for, but I am willingly walking behind him and not distracted by the attention and stares from those we pass by.

Father's Day Thoughts Plus a Great Gift Idea.

Darren Pyle — Mon, 11 Jun 2012 19:13:26 GMT

Men love to win.

I know this first hand. I watch my husband annihilate unsuspecting opponents on NCAA Football on his Playstation 3. He takes great pleasure in it. I literally think it relaxes him. My son is no different. He can’t wait to tell me how he won a foot race among his neighborhood friends, declaring himself the fastest of all. Recently, he told me that he beat his friend Alyssa at arm wrestling. (Yes, I know. Arm wrestling a girl was not his finest moment.) Of course, scoring a touchdown or a homerun puts him on cloud nine, too. Winning gives the men in my life a feeling of accomplishment, and yes, satisfaction.

Meet Elicia Horton

Kathy Litton — Fri, 08 Jun 2012 20:02:30 GMT

Elicia Horton—full time pastor’s wife and mother, has a Master’s degree in Religious Studies from Calvary Theological Seminary and is currently working on a M.A. in Organizational Leadership. She is the wife of D.A. Horton (Azriel) Lead Teaching Elder at Koinonia Bible Church, a multi-ethnic, multi-generational, multi-subcultural church in Kansas City, MO. D.A. has been active in the ministry of Gospel rap for over 15 years.

1-What makes Koinonia Bible Church a unique congregation in advancing the gospel in Kansas City?

Two congregations merged into one making this a unique experience. Our core values—teaching, training and fellowship embody who we are and how we glorify God.

On a Spin Bike

Kathy Litton — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 15:09:15 GMT

Clearly displayed on the wall of the spin room at the Y where I work out is this verse:

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13

I frequent this spin room often being tortured by sprints and climbing hills. The verse is just part of the landscape of a dark room. Yet at 5:17am on Wednesday this all too familiar verse staggered me. The words “all things” snuck up and jarred my heart while spinning away.

Letting Go of Perfect

Kathy Litton — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 13:53:39 GMT

“Attempting to maintain my own sense of self often feels like a nearly impossible balancing act in the midst of this life, so much of which is dedicated to the needs of others.” –Amy Spiegel

Does this thought sound familiar? If you are a wife and a mom to young kiddos, trying to maintain your sanity while living up to the Christian societal expectations (or self-inflicted ones), Letting Go of Perfect by Amy Spiegel is a must read. Amy so candidly talks about her life, one to which you will relate. She discusses the pressure to focus on the outward appearance of your job as a wife, mother and Christ follower, as opposed to raw faith and authentic living. I felt refreshed after reading this book, as though I am not alone and my struggles are more common than I realize.

Confession of a Wife with Growth Problems

Kathy Litton — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 12:32:03 GMT

Confessions are not for the faint of heart. In my humble opinion, they have to be swallowed and digested by the accuser before regurgitated. And we all know that process is never lovely.

I confess I have refused to pray for growth in our young church. I find within me a willing heart, yet with an unwillingness of the flesh. Just when the good gets growing, I freeze. I am frozen with fear of what the future holds. And to think I just got used to the change in our church and how this affects my husband’s schedule. Now what are we doing? Wait a second. Am I really standing still on the brink of change?

Just As You Are

Darren Pyle — Fri, 01 Jun 2012 14:35:03 GMT

Having been in ministry for lots of years, I’ve seen all types of personalities and talents. Extroverts, introverts, funny, serious, organized, chaotic, eccentric, traditional, intellectual, sensitive – and that’s just in my own family! Sometimes, I am tempted to look at someone else’s strength and wish it was mine, too. Like creativity. I secretly wish that I could paint amazing artwork. Or, I sometimes imagine that I could astound people with my singing ability. (I really do sound awesome in the car. Just ask my kids.) But, I can only paint by numbers and my hubby sometimes shivers when I sing. I’m just not an artist. I’m not creative. At least that’s what I thought until a few months ago.

Me? Have an Idol?

Darren Pyle — Wed, 30 May 2012 12:43:47 GMT

Oh, how many times I've read verses on idols and dismissed them because I don’t have that problem.

I was having a conversation with a friend about a struggle I had with a person that I hate to admit, I don't really like. We all have these people in our lives. They are usually people we clash with, people we try to make happy but can't, or people that have wounded our hearts. At other times they are people we are jealous of (even if we don't want to admit it) or compare ourselves to.

My friend listened and then without flinching said, "you have an idol problem."

Meet Brooke Love

Darren Pyle — Mon, 28 May 2012 15:04:37 GMT

Brooke Love—born in Mobile, Alabama; wife to Kelly, Executive Pastor at Gallery Church of NYC; mom to Hannah, 13; and Nathan, 9; Children’s Director at Gallery; has a master’s in Elementary Education; works as a teacher for NYC public schools; loves to sing, workout, read, and explain to New Yorkers that, despite her accent, she is not from the country.

1- Describe how your normal life in small-town Alabama got interrupted by a calling to New York City.

Our pathway to ministry has definitely been unconventional. Kelly and I accepted a call to missions as teenagers, but God had His own time table.

The “But” of a Pastor’s Wife

Darren Pyle — Fri, 25 May 2012 17:48:28 GMT

I don't have an official job, BUT as the "pastor's wife, I have a title.
I have a title, BUT it doesn't fit into the category of previous work experience.
When asked the question "do you work?" technically the answer is "no," BUT in reality I do.
I "work in ministry, BUT I don't receive a paycheck.
I have a position, BUT I don't get a promotion.
There is no spoken job description, BUT there are unspoken expectations.
I love my job that doesn't exist, BUT other days I want to quit the job I don't really have...

Waste [A Note to Mothers](2)

Darren Pyle — Mon, 21 May 2012 17:40:55 GMT

"Why this waste?" the disciples asked Jesus.

The woman, Mary, took the most precious possession she had and poured it on Jesus. The disciples could think of far greater plans for that perfume. [Matthew 26]

We wallow in the season of raising little ones.
[Or at least I do]
We think of that college degree we earned and think,
"Why this waste?"
[I know i have thought that a few times]

The Bad Idea Assassin

Lori McDaniel — Fri, 18 May 2012 13:06:57 GMT

There are a million reasons a church should be grateful for their pastor's wife. Beyond the fact that the position of pastor's wife is the most complicated and under-celebrated calling in the world, there is another benefit we must appreciate. I have been a pastor for more than 25 years, and in that time I have been married to two amazing women. Tammy and I served together as church planters in Tucson, Arizona, for almost seven years before coming to an established work in Mobile, Alabama. Tammy was suddenly taken from us in August of 2007. Just over two years ago Kathy Ferguson and I were married. Kathy and I are growing in our new life together and facing the daily challenges of ministry and family. We are deepening friends on the same journey to a new horizon.

Relationship Rx

Paula Link — Tue, 15 May 2012 13:20:02 GMT

This year, my husband, Shawn, and I celebrated 18 years of marriage. Wow! I honestly think that I’ve got the best husband….the best marriage around. But, you know what? Our marriage is just like any other. We’ve had our up’s and down’s. Thank God the good times have far outweighed the bad. We’ve had a great life and marriage. But, sprinkled throughout the years has been a little strife here and there. Like year one, which brought to the surface the need of putting each others’ desires first. That was a back breaker! Or, year 5 which brought the birth of our first child and the birth of MLC! That was a demanding year. Year 7 brought much tension and stress and the temptation to grow apart. And, years 8 and 9 dealt us not one, but 2 miscarriages.

What I Learned by Being my Mother’s Daughter

Lori McDaniel — Fri, 11 May 2012 13:04:00 GMT

Mother’s Day without my mother leaves me even more profoundly aware of her impact on me. There are no more chances to say “thank you” or kiss her cheek. So I celebrate her with a lifetime of memories and a life indelibly marked by hers.

The last seven years of my mother’s life she lived with the devastation of a stroke. My strong, bright, witty mother diminished greatly. Talking was very difficult and no longer mobile with the loss of the use of much of her body. Yet she never stopped fighting to live and love. Her faith grew stronger even as her body only failed her more. For more than seven years we watched an incredibly strong, resilient woman accept a bitter road with grace and joy.

Last year on the day my mother would have turned 76 I stopped to list what I had learned by being my mother’s daughter.

CONFESSION- I broke the glass door at church!

Lori McDaniel — Wed, 09 May 2012 14:25:42 GMT

Confession - I Broke the Glass Doors At Church

When I tell this story now, some laugh. It wasn't funny then.

My husband pastored a small, country church. The type of church controlled by a few women who had keys to their Sunday-School classroom. Not even the pastor had a key to “their room.”

The past 2 years our church performed a Christmas musical. While our production was just a few notches above a Little Rascals woodshed show, it was big stuff in this farm community.

We led the church to do something new. We distributed a certain amount of tickets for each night for crowd control.

I'm not musical, but I am creative and led the drama. It was the afternoon of the first performance. A few others and myself were making last minute fixes to the set. One of the "I-have-a-key-to-my-own-classroom" women walked in. She wanted tickets. Tickets were gone. I told her I would let her know if someone returned tickets to the office. She left huffed...

The Influencer's Kiss

Jennifer Frank — Mon, 07 May 2012 15:28:18 GMT

While reading the story of Daniel recently, I saw something I had never noticed. King Belshazzar, the king of Babylon, was throwing a mega- celebration and had commanded that the golden cups, stolen from the Temple in Jerusalem years earlier, be brought in for his guests’ use. To his horror, a hand appeared on the wall, writing indistinguishable words. He frantically called his court magicians for interpretation, but no one could do it. The queen was notified and rushed to the banquet hall. She urged Belshazzar to summon Daniel, who had been taken to Babylon as an advisor to Belshazzar’s father. The king agreed to do so and Daniel saved the day! (See Daniel 5.)

There are times in Scripture where a wife’s influence on her powerful husband had dramatic results, ....

Superhero Ministry Wife

Paula Link — Fri, 04 May 2012 14:32:25 GMT

Does Superhero and ministry even belong in the same sentence? Let’s have some fun with this thought today!
I received an email for customized capes designed for superheroes that landed in my email box Living Social Ad Trust me I have NO spare time but got ridiculously sucked into this ad. Which got me asking what kind of customized cape would I design for myself?
Maybe it’s just something that seems leftover from an unfulfilled childhood fantasy, but I believe all of us desire to leave our mark on this world. We all want to have strengths. The desire to be identified because of a great strength or “superpower” is entirely human. Now if this defines our identity, or if it becomes a controlling need, or if you actually wear a cape all blinged out and branded with your “superpower”… well I hate to tell you this sister but you might be needy. (that’s a blog for another day.) Today is Friday and we’re having fun!

New to a City

Lori McDaniel — Thu, 03 May 2012 13:47:17 GMT

a drastic move. surroundings of green rolling hills were replaced with the san francisco bay and pacific ocean touching. a fairly christianized culture in most of our ministry was given up for a culture of many religions, diversity, and tolerance of just about anything.

we would spend less time in our minivan and more time on the sidewalks. we would be starting relationships from the very beginning rather than walking into an established church where a community of believers were ready to receive you. and we would do this all with three little boys....

Critics and Critiques

Kathy Litton — Thu, 03 May 2012 12:11:04 GMT

One of my favorite meetings at Mountain Lake Church might surprise you. It’s the critique session. Several of our Pastors meet with my husband after our worship services for feedback and input on everything from lighting and sound to message-delivery. Now, before you think that this sounds less than spiritual, let me explain. You see, at MLC we care about intentionality and clarity. We understand that we only have an hour to explain the Good News of Jesus to a crowd that struggles with doubt and hurt, and we want each minute to count. Everything we do is geared to drive home the message that God cares about people, and, if we can improve in any area, we absolutely want to.

Hence, the critique session...

We Get You

Darren Pyle — Tue, 01 May 2012 13:03:12 GMT

We understand you.

This is a ministry for pastors' wives led by pastors' wives. We get you.

Ministry life is NOT a burdened life with which we are dismally saddled. It is a world that contains unique snares that may easily trap us. One common trap is trying to live up to “her”. Maybe we once heard someone referred to as “the PERFECT pastor’s wife” (emphasis on PERFECT). Immediately we felt inadequate. If this “perfect pastor’s wife” has great hair and a permanently clean car, then we are truly sunk. The carefully controlled snapshots of lives on Facebook, blogs or Twitter may lure us into thinking that other ministry lives have superpowers we do not.

Welcome to Flourish

Lori McDaniel — Tue, 01 May 2012 11:21:50 GMT

There's just something about Pastor's wives getting together. We automatically get each other because we share the same journey in ministry.

Welcome to Flourish! A place to connect with other ministry wives! We'd love to have coffee with you, but since we can't, pour yourself a cup and sit down with us. We think you'll find a warm place with honest conversations and some new friends right here. We are thrilled you're joining this online community of ministers' wives.

Get comfy and take a look around the Flourish site. Meet our Team, a group of women, just like you, on a journey in ministry life. Each Blog will allow you to take a peek into our hearts and journeys and find encouragement for yours. Take note of the resources on the Tools and I'm Hurting pages. Fresh sources of teaching, coaching as well as materials for your own struggles will be posted continually. Helpful audio and video will soon be added. We want our friends to be your friends as we tell fascinating stories of women at Women You will Want to Meet. Need a quality book? See strong personal recommendations at the Flourish Bookshelf.

And BE social with us on Facebook and Twitter . Connecting will allow you to find out when there is a new post, resource, or videos are added. Join the conversation and share with your friends. We want to hear from YOU so freely comment and drop us an email to give us feedback. Bookmark us and keep checking back. This site itself will Flourish and grow with new information, resources, and friends to meet!